A few months ago while she was in town, one of my mother's good friends took the time to pull me aside and tell me how proud she was of McKay and I. She told me she was impressed with how we were making ends meet--despite being full-time students with part-time jobs. She said everyone doubted we would succeed, but we proved everyone wrong.
Then, a month later while talking on the phone, my mom said they (her and my dad) were proud of us. For a few minutes she talked about how she doesn't worry much about McKay and I, because we have made good decisions. In a not so direct way, she told me that we had surpassed her expectations.
Not many people know what our wedding was really like. Yes, there was family and friends, a beautiful temple, a dress, and presents. But I'll tell you what there wasn't: approval. People looked at our ages and judged us. McKay was 23 and I was 19. We'd met earlier that year hiking in Moab, Utah with mutual friends and 7 months later we were engaged.
The most difficult thing about getting married young was everyone else's reactions:
"You barely know him!"
"But you're only 19, that's WAY too young."
"Once you're married you pay everything yourself, you'll have no money." ->It's called a budget.
"You should date more before making such a big decision."
"You'll regret not living up your single years." ->Really? Are you sure? Cause now I have a built in best friend and EVERYTHING I do with him is fun.
I received a lot of negative comments from people--even on the day of the wedding. Especially on the day of the wedding. I tried to rush through that whole day--I just wanted it to be over so people would stop berating my choices. *I want to make it clear that I am absolutely fine today*, but during our engagement I cried everyday. Getting married when the people closest to me did not support my decision was the most difficult thing I have ever done. I knew McKay was the man I was going to spend eternity with. I knew it was him. But all my life my parents had made decisions for me; and their approval had been a way to confirm what I felt through the Spirit. I never imagined I'd be in the position I was. But I took all the hurtful words and pushed them aside, because I knew I was doing what the Lord wanted me to do. Despite all the pain and tears, I went through with it. And you know what? I have yet to make a better decision than that one.
Now, I didn't conduct myself all that well during our engagement, either. I was nervous and really struggling with confidence in myself at the time, and I certainly didn't treat others as well as I should've. My communication to those I loved was poor, and I regret not expressing myself honestly. I understand now that everyone who opposed our marriage had their separate reasons, and my stand off-ish attitude at the time only helped perpetuate their feelings. I certainly wasn't exempt from the judging, I found myself judging others because they had judged me, and I quickly learned that was a mistake. I didn't go about getting married in the easiest or most convenient way. I apologize to any of whom I treated poorly during that time in my life, the experience truly helped me grow and mature in a way I didn't even know I needed.
It doesn't matter that I was "too young", or that I didn't "date around enough", or that I "won't be able to live up my early twenties" (which is a ridiculous argument, by the way.) I've come to realize that my age in no way reflects my ability to receive personal revelation from my Heavenly Father. I was fully aware of the choice I was making, while others saw to it to tell me that I wasn't.
McKay and I have learned that used furniture is a bargain, and second hand clothing is where it's at. We've learned that if all else fails, 7-layer dip for dinner is a viable option. I know he'll kill all the bugs, he know's that I'll do the grocery shopping. I've learned that I'm really bad at closing the microwave after heating something up and McKay's learned that if you rub one foot you've got to rub the other.
Whoever said getting married young would mean I was "missing out" was wrong.
Our marriage rocks.
Our relationship rocks.
My life rocks.
I mean, seriously, look at my life, it's fantastic:
We've been on lots of dates:
[caption id="attachment_570" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
Free Fro-Yo[/caption][caption id="attachment_571" align="aligncenter" width="225"]
Ice Skating[/caption][caption id="attachment_572" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
Stewart Falls[/caption][caption id="attachment_574" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
Silly string attack[/caption][caption id="attachment_575" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
Halloween[/caption][caption id="attachment_582" align="aligncenter" width="224"]
Romantic Birthday Dinner[/caption]We've been to lots of places:
(With a trip to Brazil planned for this Christmas!)
[caption id="attachment_585" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
California Beach[/caption][caption id="attachment_584" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
San Francisco[/caption][caption id="attachment_586" align="aligncenter" width="224"]
Disney World![/caption][caption id="attachment_581" align="aligncenter" width="200"]
Hiking the Narrows[/caption]And we've tried plenty of new things:
[caption id="attachment_583" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
McKays first time snowboarding[/caption][caption id="attachment_579" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
SKYDIVING[/caption][caption id="attachment_578" align="aligncenter" width="225"]
My first time shooting[/caption][caption id="attachment_576" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
Planting our first garden![/caption][caption id="attachment_217" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
![IMG_3702[1]](https://ourcupofcoffey.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/img_37021.jpg)
Donating Plasma[/caption] [caption id="attachment_577" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
We've joined water polo, softball, kickball, and football teams[/caption][embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxBLKSoeV7s&feature=youtu.be[/embed]
To all you getting-married-young naysayers, I want to say: You don't want others to rebuke your choices, so don't rebuke mine. (actually what I really want to say is: SUCKS FOR YOU cause my life is awesome. But, I'm a lady.) I've grown into who I am with my husband by my side. And I will continue to grow into the woman the Lord wants me to be--with my husband by my side.
#MarriedYoungIsMoreFun
you all have traveled to more places and done more things than Chris and I in our 4 years of marriage hahahaha Loved this post by the way!
ReplyDeleteI don't know you, but I totally empathize with your story. My husband and I got married this April; we turned 20 and 21 this year. He got a job offer in another state, so it was either get married and move with him, or break up. Of course, there was the option to try and make long distance work, but we both grew up with the standard of getting married before living together, so at some point we would have to marry anyway. I knew he was the man I wanted to marry, and he the same. So we put a ring on it and moved states away from all of our family and friends. And have not regreted it once. Being married is better than I could have imagined. It is work, but the rewards reaped are more than worth it! I wrote a post a few weeks ago on what I have learnt love means. And I realize there is not a magic age where you will be able to love correctly. What matters is how mature you are, how selfless, how giving, forgiving, and your ability to put your spouse before yourself. I know our marriage will last forever. Because we both will never stop working for it, through thick and thin. The vows we made, we take very seriously. I love reading other stories like yours. Keep them coming! Congratulations, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness!
ReplyDeleteI love this! Getting married younger was absolutely the best choice I've ever made. Isn't it great to grow and change WITH your best friend?
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